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Snow and Ice Metaphors from a Chicago Divorce Coach
Coaches speak in metaphor and living in Chicago as a divorce coach, I have gathered my fair share of snow and ice related metaphors. It is fascinating just how many ways they can be applied to help you through your divorce. In this post, I outline my top two and provide ways that they can help you understand feelings of overwhelm and anger during your divorce.
How do you know when your marriage is over?
The hardest question you may ever be faced with is “Should I stay or should I go?” If you have been unhappy for a long time, deciding whether your marriage is over may be the most difficult decision you ever make. But what becomes even more toxic is the time you spend in limbo. At a certain point there are diminishing returns on the time and energy it takes to decide whether you are packing your bags or planning for retirement together. These questions will help you gain clarity on whether your marriage is over whether another try may be worthwhile.
A Divorce Coach is the Doula of your Divorce
The idea of a divorce coach is often met with the same wary suspicion that I had of doulas prior to having children. “I have my lawyer, I have my therapist, why a coach?” The confusion is understandable, I mean why would you pay for yet another professional during an already very costly process? But, much like my finally caving and hiring a doula, if you are interested in saving time, angst and years off your life, the real question becomes, how can you afford not to hire a divorce coach?
7 Golden Rules that Minimize the Effects of Divorce on Children
Here are the seven most broadly accepted truths when it comes to helping children adjust to the negative effects of divorce, along with explanations from lifespan development theorists as to why these are critical. Some of this is old news, some may be new to you. Each one of these is a challenge unto themselves, but effective parenting - even if it's only you - can be the overriding factor in making or breaking your child's adjustment
Divorce Trapped Me, But I Have an Exit Strategy
Every divorced person I have encountered has a story with underlying tones of feeling fleeced, cheated or trapped. I fall into the latter and have dug deep for peace using these steps. My formula ignores the obvious, which is the fact that for many, divorce can bring profound freedom. Emotional freedom or perhaps even freedom from abuse, addiction or adultery. Don’t give any more energy to what you cannot change or control. Be open to the possibility that this situation could actually give you wings to fly.
Building Tolerance for Uncertainty During Divorce
Fear of the unknown during a divorce is like being in a cave of inky darkness. Having experienced the breathtaking worry of not knowing where I will be living, how I will make a living and where my children will be on which night of the week, I am able to validate and relate to anyone dealing with this. Here are some pointers to cope with uncertainty and instability during divorce and beyond.
How do I know I am ready to forgive?
Forgiveness, at the end of the day, is less about them and more about setting you free, about releasing your spirit. Forgiveness does not equal condoning behavior. Here are five signs that indicate you are ready to forgive, or perhaps have already forgiven, your ex-spouse or the circumstances that led to your divorce.